What has life taught you?

I find at the very young age of 46 that I’m not as young as I once was but I’m not referring to physical age here but rather the fact that me being the age I am has made me understand / realise / learn things that otherwise would never have been. Confused, well let me launch right in and see if I can untangle that … and so without further ado let me bring you “stuff life has taught me” …

• Your self belief is stronger than anyone or anything else.
  Let’s face it. If you have an idea for extra money or some hair brained scheme then you will have to drive it. You will have to be its cheer leader. You will have to be its confidence builder … your partner / parents / friends may love you dearly, but they will never see the full picture. I recall my best friend Jeff wanting to write & produce a christian pantomime. Inwardly I thought it would never work but outwardly I supported and ran with the idea. I guess 5 sell out performances of 350 each performance was testament enough …
• If you can’t help others you can’t help yourself.
  This works in the real world and on the internets. If all you do is moan or refuse to hold doors open, etc then guess what …?  In contrast if you help others they will remember and pass on that help to others who in turn, well you get the idea. Eventually the circle will close and you’ll find yourself helped in return. Oh, and whilst you’re at it be graceful and grateful in the help given or received. I’m still learning this one almost daily.
• You can’t relive your life.
  Let’s face it. You are who you are because of genetics, environment and upbringing. All your decisions are because of who you are and being given the opportunity to relive your life would only result in you making the exact same decisions again – so suck it up and get on with what you have now.
• Follow your heart.
  I wish I’d realised this many years ago. I had a pastor who used to say “your fortune is in your control”. When quizzed about this he clarified it by saying that God has given you everything you need to create your future. I took this to mean that if you are a talented engineer then do that. If you’re an artist then don’t try making furniture. Do a SWOT analysis and realise your skills and strengths and then try to combine with your passion.
• Muck sticks.
  It matters not whether the muck is true or not, it will stick. So try not to encourage it in the first place.
• Some folks just get lucky.
  Let’s face it. If I won the lottery then that would be luck. The odds of winning in the UK are something like 14 million to 1 against. If, however, I started my own business and worked all the hours under the sun and then sold it for a decent sum – well then that isn’t luck. Learn the difference, I have and I’m still working for that big deal.
• Even christians will ‘do you over’.
  My father in law used to have a family farm. He, his father, brothers, etc were all christian. They all worked extremely hard on the farm and occasionally took on extra employees. They learnt the hard way that just because you are dedicated and a christian it doesn’t mean someone that seemingly has the same values as you will work as hard as you or to the same ethics – suck it up and move on.
• Money isn’t evil.
  I’ve had this discussion with my best mate a number of times and we’ve agreed to disagree though he does concede that I could probably cope better than he. Going back to my hypothetical lottery win … would winning, say £5 million change me? In short no. It would change the way, where, what and how I live but it wouldn’t change the who behind the living. I would still be the same old Stuart, just with more money in the bank. If you disagree with me that’s fine but then you’ll allow me the benefit of believing I have the healthier attitude towards money then!
• Recognise your weaknesses.
  I don’t mean let the world know you pick your nose or whatever, but by accepting you know that you get angry or shout occasionally or can’t do something at work is not life or career ending. How you handle the other side of these events may be, but having them in the first place isn’t. Personally I firmly believe that if you come before me in an interview or review and can’t identify at least one weakness you need to improve then you’ve lost my faith in you.
• Accept your emotions.
  I had a conversation with my dad the other day and I came off the phone thoroughly frustrated by his seeming lack of response. In short I couldn’t work out what he was thinking or feeling. I was a chip off the old block but meeting my wife changed me. She taught me to feel, to care, to react …
• You aren’t as poor as you think.
  You might be in financial difficulty but be honest about that. I followed a link to the Global Rich List that invites you to enter your annual salary and it returns where in the world you sit in terms of affluence. Within 10ft of me at the office are several folks who constantly complain about how little they are paid .. but reality is they are in the top 10% of world earners. I’m hugely grateful that I’m in the top 1% … it doesn’t stop me wanting more, but it does bring reality to my situation.
• People will be people.
  Stop stressing about others and what they think. You can’t and never will be able to control them. If they like you then cultivate that. If they don’t like you then as I’m fond of saying, suck it up and then move on. Guess what? They get to go home to their lives and problems just like you.
• Things can be black and white.
  Really. Life isn’t always about how many shades of grey you can identify. Man up and accept that there are times you need to make a decision and be counted for it. Being a christian is one of those.

What about you?

What life lessons have you learnt?

Do you recognise yourself in any of the above?